Franco
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Everything posted by Franco
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*punches you* Hey, don't diss on me!
My point is, that was only a few years ago. Be careful, mon, about what you know and what you think you know. Because the next thing you know, everything you thought you knew is a lie and the world is crashing down on you.
Also, your vocab, superior to mine? Naw. That doth be a most heinous lie, Sir KNI
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1. I know that perfectly well. I assure you, my definition for a lot of things is different than other people's, and many would classify me as an extremist.
2. I know that, and I don't like it.
However, neither of your answers really deal with more than one of mine, so I'll leave it at that.
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*Incoming Transmission* Tell me what you think about the changes. That was just the way I thought it should be done, but feel free to make the changes you guys think should be done. Also, in the bold sentence, am I the only who thinks that the wording could be slightly improved? I mean, it gets the point across, and it is no way incorrect, but I just feel it could be worded differently. Again, only an opinion. Tell me what you guys think. *End Transmission* Meh...Yeah, I get a slight feeling that something about that sentence is off. I like the rest of the changes, except that you left a "he" (bolded by me) where it's not needed.
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Oh, right. I'll edit that. I had a few qualms about some of the word choices, but it's too late for me to state them now >.< I'll tell them later. At all the commas I marked, I thought they could be replaced by other forms of punctuation. At the "he"s, I thought they could be replaced by another pronoun or word to describe Kevin, including his name, because that really got boring after a while, reading all those "he"s. And at "sickly", I don't feel as though it fits the context. Finally, an inconsistency is visible here: early on, KNI, you stated that he got up. However, later on, it is assumed that he never got up. Anyone have any ideas for changes?
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Exactly my thoughts. I'll compile it, or at least what we have now, then post it. Even if people don't like what we have so far, at least we know what it is. Hold on... EDIT: Here our first draft of this thing is: I put the asterisks in to show where the story shows perspective. So, what do you think?
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Does anyone else feel as though that finished it? I think that's a good finisher for now, but, does anyone else wish to continue this?
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Yeah, I been good. I am finally getting my posting count and grade back up to where they used to be
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