Padishah Mehmet II

and, idunno, a pack of angry hippos passed through town recently?

you are a horrible guesser! the answer -obviously- was that the cucumber in my kitchen came to life and ate my cat. Sheesh, any -normal- person would have guessed that. But not you, oh no! had to go all hippo hipster on me =P

oh, that was third on my list of ideas

right after an invasion of huge yellow slimy aliens from the CORE OF THE EARTH.